Fail

wait a minute... there was a bomb threat and then jordan was "late"... hmmm...

yah there was a bomb threat at the highschool here too. well.. nothing important to say today, keep up the good work and make sure you come back tomorrow because i have something long and exciting to talk about. actually isn't that the way tomorrow always seems to be a better day. like i know that isn't an original thought or anything but i mean it is true. like when you wake up in the morning and you have to go to work, you go because you know you can't do it tomorrow. but, there are so many other things where you do have the choice to do it tomorrow. writing someone a letter or calling them is always a good example. filling out forms, or doing housework, those are other examples. tomorrow is hump day. when i was at cape breton bible camp we wrote hump day notes to each other, like people who worked there. they would be these dumb little notes with a funny joke or something on them. i still have them somewhere too, that is pretty funny. speaking of weight(you were?), i think i weigh about 152 pounds give or take a couple. i was at this persons house tonight and i went to the bathroom and they had a scale, i weighed myself. anyway, so yah there is going to be something cool here tomorrow, or the next day if i don't get a chance tomorrow because my life is so filled up and busy all the time. you know with all the stuff i do. you know because i have a life and everything. yeah, i'll be here tomorrow.

....which is further proof that it never pays to show up early.

Somebody was going to blow up my school today, good thing I was late or maybe something might have happend.

yeah so there is snow and it is almost may. well, i put in my notice to be done my job. my boss said if i change my mind or ever want to come back that is okay. i filled out my application and sent it for two community colleges too. what will i do now.. who knows i will figure something out, maybe.

The trip to Nova Scotia was halarious in too many ways for text. And whats up with the snow? Well as for the preformance in halifax both bands recieved silver medals in the festival. Over the past four days i have built up an addiction for coffee. Had a bus driver that checked out bootie at the restaurant while we talked about life in general. He was a nascar driver as well. Thats why we made such good time there an back. Well as for the snow, It be great if there was no school tommorow. Church was cool tonite. I went to the one that my grandmother, cousin, and sisters go to over in the northend. I hung out with the youth 2 sarah's, Ben, David, Nick, and the leader guy named Mike. I typed there names just so if i forget them or something, but they're all unoriginal.anyhow. The coolest thing all weekend was meeting a guy from Nunavut. The dude was wearing the nunuvat flag. He goes to Inuksuk High School (i spelt that right). in case you haven't seen the flag its gold (yellow) on the left side white on the right with an inuksuk( the now the people will know we were here thing) in the middle, and a blue star in the centred in the top right corner. ..... SNOW * * * * * * * * 's Check out the Flag.

my biking journey today... it was nice i found the good trails. i went down the road a ways and started down a four wheeler path into the woods. in tall grass i caught what looked like a fox carrying a white rabbit or bird. i didn't get a good look at it because it saw me before i saw it and had time to get back towards the woods. as i continued i came to this big marsh type area where a bendy brook went beside the trail. it went quite a ways and i saw beavers and their dam and also their house. well i thought they were beavers at first but i think they may have been muscrats or something. i only saw one actually come out of the water. he was a little guy and came up on the grass, made a sqeaky noise and then dove back into the water. anyway, i saw no more of them after that i guess he gave the warning call that someone was around. so, i kept on going and came to a different trail, then onto more of a dirt road than a four wheeler path. i went quite a ways not actually knowing if i would come back onto the main paved road again or not. i thought i was going to have to go back the whole way that i came. but then when i was just about to turn around i came out to the road. it was down the opposite direction from my house from where i went into the woods. i found a few of those places out in the woods where someone throughs all their old crap. old matresses, old trucks, old stoves, and lots of other garbage. there are many many trails to be discovered out there.

i didn't go biking today as i found other things to do. did you ever tell someone something that makes you think this: oh man if i hadn't of said that something i think may have happened will now not happen because of what i just said. but the thing is, you didn't know not to tell it to them until it was too late. man well that probably makes no sense but it happened to me today. if i just knew everything then i wouldn't do things i dont want to do. but i dont know everything, and i can't simply keep my mouth shut all the time. although sometimes i wish i could. isn't that the way though, sometimes you want to just say nothing but you feel you have to say something to either a) add your say in a two person conversation or b) not wanting to look too quiet in a group. thing is there are other times when you just want to say everything, but you arn't able to because a) in a two person conversation the other person talks about things you don't care about (ie. their life) and won't give you a chance to speak or b) when in a group some other tool is stealing all the attention you so rightly deserve. anyway, a coach said, if a player slows down, they are in trouble for slacking off. if a player speeds up, they are in trouble because they wern't going at their full potential before.

i woke up this morning and it is sunny outside. i think i may go biking i will write about my adventures later. ever lock eyes with a pretty girl you don't know. there are so many words to describe it that i can't be bothered to write them all.

ok because i do the same thing over and over at work my arm is getting sore. i think i am getting tendanitus or whatever that is. anyway, the other day i woke up in the middle of the night and my arm was laying on top of me but it had no feeling. it was "asleep". it was so numb it felt like someone else had their arm on me. it was weird. but then i realized something. i have womanly arms and hands. don't get me wrong i'm not proud of this at all it really sucks. i wonder what i could do to get manly arms.

rocks

Well the thing is...you should have just said "sure I can drive it"....and then proceed to drive it. What is the worst that can happen??

don't you hate that when you do something stupid and only one other person knows about it and they don't say a whole lot but then all of a sudden they blab it out when everyone else is around. i think it is important that if you see someone do something stupid, maybe even have to help them fix their mistake, just let it go, forget about it and don't bring it up later. if you are anything like me, you will be able to relate to stupid people anyway, who may not have the most common sense. anyway on a different note, i was asked by my boss if i could drive the truck which is standard. i said no i havn't learned standard yet. he said okay, too bad because it would make your job easier using the truck rather than going back and forth with the forklift. i said, well would he(a guy i work with who is deaf) be able to drive it? the boss said, no.. he can't hear the engine rev up. anyway, after the boss left the deaf guy jumped in and drove it fine. i guess you don't need hearing to drive standard.

will you marry me nick? not tonight it is bedtime. oh okay maybe some other time then? yeah some other time.

when i was younger, i wondered what it would be like to send yourself out into space in a space ship with a whole lot of food and fuel and see how far you could go. i figured you could discover stars and planets no one has ever seen. only problem was at the time i obviously didn't realize people can already see much farther into space than they could travel in a lifetime. i think everything is more exciting when you are a kid. the more you learn the less interesting it seems because your imagination can no longer imagine, as you know the truth about stuff. but i still wonder about things too. i figure when i am old enough to need to trim my nose hairs i will stop coming up with my "so called" easier ways to do things.

there was a fire down behind my house across the river tonight. it was big. i went outside and watched it for a bit. then i saw some beavers. i jumped and they splashed really loud. scared me as much as i scared them. fire.

Today is a new day. New things must be tackled. E=MC^2. If you don't Try something New, you will never no what could or even should have been or happened.

you know what i think, who we are around effects our behavior very much. when we are around certain people we feel presured to act a certain way. they may not even care but we care that they might care. so we act a certain way as a cover up or something. we only show ourselves to friends. or maybe it is the other way around and we only show ourselves to strangers or at least people we hardly know. i guess it is different for different people. maybe someone never puts on how they feel or what kind of person they are, maybe some do it 99% of the time. then others are somewhere in between. i think first impressions are very important. i think some people base their whole opion on someone because of their first impression of them. and then, how they respond to that effects how that person feels they should act. if someone thinks you are going to act a certain way, you probably will feel presured to act the way they think you will. if that made any sense. okay let me think if i can write a conclusionary sentence. be careful how you act when you first meet someone, it can change a lot of junk. one of the best things you can do for someone is make them feel comfortable to act however they please, and you might just meet a whole new person. anyway, i think sometimes it is good to hear someone else talk about how they are struggling with the same things as us. if you are feeling depressed about something, or down about something or don't understand something, it is good to hear someone else has the same feelings. so.. it might not always be a good thing to try to act happy all the time and always have a smile, someone might need to see that others have problems too. if you thought everyone else was happy all the time, you might think there was something wrong with yourself.

i was chatting to someone on msn that i talk to sometimes and she said she talks to herself. when i asked what she talks about she said, "lol, well most of them are like scenerios. Like I will be thinking about some situation, either that I know will happen or I would like to happen. So, I will speak out loud what my part of the conversation, and in my head there would be the other person's. Very onesided conversations." isn't that the way.

Who does this? Who would want a life like that?

You go through five years of university to land a good job so a beautiful girl will marry you and you can sit down at a nicely prepared meal with your two and a half kids and talk about how hockey practice went although your dreams of them becoming an NHL star are being shattered by their abuse of drugs which your money is supporting although you don't realize it because you think they are spending their money on second hand clothing which is why you raised their allowance and giving the extra money was no problem because you quit smoking so you can one day enjoy your RRSP's and see your kids grow up just like you which they once told you was their desire because you are a good example of a parent by sponsering a starving child in Africa and only drinking sociably with friends who laugh when you flirt with other woman but don't cheat on your wife who you don't like having arguments with because it might hurt the kids who've grown up to turn their backs on you and hardly ever talk to you anymore as you relax on your yacht until your spouse dies and you return home from your retirement to sit alone growing old wondering if you were above average.

......And then, there was rain.

Why is it that all of the lovely looking ladies are either older or younger than me, maybe someday i will find a Lady. But till then I will remain muddy. Wash only when the bugs are too annoying. Wear nice clothes only out of necessity. Shave when i half to. Scratch when ever or where ever. I will be the ultimate slob. I will have no reasoning, only laziness an a lack of pride an effort to maintain my great dignity. Everyday will be relaxing in my personal bubble of filth. No clean germs will harm me. Alright maybe i should have, "hi Gene". umm the ladies probably would go for a cleaner guy maybe a little soap an warm water would help once in a while. I will have to give it a try.

echofx, is it okay if i take the spaces out of your last post?

this morning i went biking down the road. i started down this one trail but of course like many of the trails this time of year it was too wet and there was a big puddle. i didn't feel like going through or around it because i could see there were many other puddles alike it beyond this one. it sucks i wish i knew where the good trails were around here. it isn't like hartland where pretty much every trail seemed like a good one, and they are all connected. here there are many trails that just seem to end and arn't very long at all. anyway i urinated in the puddle. while i was releaving myself i wished things would dry up and it would stop raining so much. well, it started to rain (like before i even got back on my bike) okay back to the subject on music. i think music can also make you think of something you did earlier, when you were listening to the same song. like a certain song reminds me of when i was at crabbe mountain last year, going up on the chair lift. i can't remember the song but if i heard it i could tell you. another song reminds me of doing co-op at day & ross office, when i used to listen to the radio there. the song that goes "...your only the best i ever had." well that one reminds me of biking in hartland. i never actually listened to any music while doing that but i remeber singing it alot. i used to say and sing lots of things while biking there because i was out in the woods and no one was around. and if there was someone around they would be on a four wheeler and i could hear them long before they would hear me. i remember once i found this catapillar while biking (you know those fuzzy ones that you can easily see). well then i heard something jump in the woods and i said, 'let's get out of here this place is not fit for man nor beast'. hey something cool that happended when i was biking there once was i was biking down this path and a big, bright butterfly came along and actually flew beside me as i biked along. i mean it was close like inches from my front tire. and the funny part was it went with me for quite a while, it was my new found biking buddy. then, all of a sudden it turned and went towards a marshy place. i looked over and there were 5 or so other butterflys that looked the same. i watched them for a while. another thing i used to do is throw rocks at squirls and chickidees. i never hit them though. now i figure it is better to simply watch things it is more interesting. oh i remember i found a squirl nest once. it was a bunch of twigs. the baby squirls were in there and they didn't run, i guess they didn't know enough to. i looked at them and could tell they were in complete fear because i was screwing around their home. stupid nick, leave those creatures alone.

okay i looked up steve's death on the internet and found it is just a rumor. see at work, a bunch of the ladies told me they heard he died. it is good to know steve and his lady friend are still trampling around australia somewhere.

hey i remember that bmx bike it was the best. isn't it weird how people think that their generation is different from past ones. i mean yah maybe you wear different clothes and stuff, but the world is the same, people were the same and they always will be. crikee, why did no one tell me steve died? the crocidile guy. when did he die? well, maybe his help in the reasearch of anti-venum will save lives. it is good to think there was some sort of point in picking up deadly animals. after work when i was waiting for my ride i was outside and it was dark and very quiet. i listened to the fog horn blow. it was kinda nice.

From superchick.net:


a lot of us are a little less than special.... but only because we've bought into it.. we don't think we can fly so we don't. We don't want to risk what little we have and so the world loses another great poet/actor/leader/songwriter/skater because we never even drop into the half-pipe of life. We never become the person God created us to be.
Our belief that we're ugly makes us ugly.

umm the popcorn chicken was tasty. But where was the chicken part? anyhow next thing to try is the chubby chicken. Comercials and advertising work on simple people like myself. As I ate my meal I thought intently. Most of the people in the eatery were sitting alone. If the lady behind me talked to herself indirectly by talking to her baby , nobody would have thought anything of it. On the other hand if I had of started talk to the air or food in front of me. People would have thought I was whacked out on drugs or something. Realisticly there wouldn't be anything wrong with it. Everyone talks to themselves. As they get ready for the day or as they are leaving to or from work to make sure they have everything. You also do it to remind yourself of things. The best is a note to self. Well work tonight was great i stood around talking making almost 15 dollars an hour doing next to nothing. This weekend should prove useful as we plan to do something in the field. Next week I guess....... I will go to Nova Scotia with the school band. I would rather spend the money on a new bike but, ya do what ya... sorta feel obligated to do.
Today was a great day for splitting the puddles into the mud flaps didn't prove completely useful with my hazardous driving. I think i might pursue the mud again tommorow. I wish I was 6 again with my shiny red bmx and rubber boots and raincoat (the one with the comics on the reverse side). I would pedal and jump in puddles all day. Rain wouldn't be looming and downcast. It would be fun and triumph. yes being young is definitly a lot more fun.

when i listen to music i picture different senerios and stuff. like some music will make me picture myself driving, other music i will be entering a plane or going somewhere, waving goodbye. other music i will just be like, with a bunch of people. other music i will be in the band. music serves different purposes.

You would think I would have the brains to not hit my head on the metal bars running allong the top of the busses by now....but for some reason I hit my head today. It was one of those hits that hurts like mad for about 20 seconds, then it seems like it basically goes away...only to come back and pain even worse a short while later. Well right now is that short while later.

i killed my first mosquito yesterday. is this a sign of spring? isn't it weird how someone will put up with something and just laugh it off so not to make a scene or get into an argument. i think if someone says something to offend you speak your mind. maybe they will think your a big grump, oh well they will get the message. but what am i saying, i put up with lots of crap. i guess there is a balance. who knows what the future holds.. isn't that the way. ever think about how your life would be different if something had been different. like maybe the choice of college or a girlfriend/boyfriend, if those things were different what your life might be like now. think back to a major event in your life or some circumstance that if it was different, what your life may be like now. would it be better, worse? who really knows eh. think of the possibilities though. okay now think about how your life might be different if you had made a big step you once wanted to make but you were too scared. maybe asking a real nice girl out or taking the vacation you wanted. i dont know but think of what might have happened. exciting huh. but then maybe something would have gone wrong, maybe your boring old life turned out okay after all, things could be worse. things could have probably been better, but they could have always been worse. bed time

Time to study for that cooking, mixing, and miscellaneous terms test. I should do up my log sheet for co-op too. Today I went for a walk down to the water in milidgeville. Sometime in the next week I go to the northend highschool over there for jobfest. It isn't used as a highschool any more though. Time to get into a regular routine of exercise. This summer there is hopefully an opening for the apprentice , and qualification level 5 , or I may go to Waynewright On. who knows what the future holds

don't you hate that when you wake up and you have to pee so bad it hurts. but you still lay there because you don't feel like getting up. i wish it would stop raining.

well i went biking today but found no good trails. if the weather is ok tomorrow i am going to go down at the end of the road where it turns dirt i figure there are probably some good places down there. on the road i saw the girl who was in that truck i smashed into a while ago. talk to her for a bit. when people say they are doing `nothing` it doesn't make sense. i guess they just mean nothing important but we are always doing something, thinking at least. well, earlier i was doing close to nothing as you can pretty much get. i was laying around watching the lady bugs in the light shade in my room. they were playing around with the dust bunnies. they knocked some off the edge and they fell down and i caught a couple, it was nifty. 'sex is only good when you arn't gettin any.' note to self: life of birds with david attenborough is on every saturday at 10 pm on SCN. i started watching it tonight but a friend called earlier i should call them back, although it was getting pretty interesting, it had penjuins on there, and these birds that live in caves.

simple guide to amuse yourself. step 1) stare closely at a bright lamp 2) close eyes tightly and turn off lamp 3) look at the funny shapes.

in my endless atempts to daydream instead of paying attention to the task at hand at work, i think about interesting things i can write in the blog. but then i never remember them. i had something really cool to say but i can't remember it. i do really try to do that though.. if i start daydreaming sometimes hours will pass by and i will suddenly come back and it will be like break or something it is cool. tomorrow i am going to do some extreme biking if it isn't raining too much which i think it is supposed to. i am going to wash my bike, clean it all up then go get it dirty. you know what is a hard thing to do but can be rewarding if you teach yourself how to do it? it is tuning people right out. i mean just not paying attention at all to what they are saying. some people find it hard. i can sometimes do it and it can be very rewarding not hearing things. stupid conversations can be unheard, work your supposed to get done, ect. honestly saying, "sorry.. no one told me", can be very cool.

It was fun today to try an nap on the grassy knoll beside the tall trees.

i went biking today. here is the events in order.. (be forwarned nothing cool happened im just going to write it out anyway). i started out down this road and went off onto a ATV path. it was okay but then got too muddy, i have to wait a while for prime biking adventures. when i was coming back through the path i started daydreaming about these scruffy guys with shotguns who came out of the woods. they were like, alright hold it right there. i said, what? what did i do? i swear i didn't do anything. and then they were like what were you doing out here? i said, nothing i am just getting my excersize. then the guy who looked like the leader said, you've been one of the ones snooping around our weed plantation arn't you? i was like, no man i don't even smoke weed, really i dont. then he said to the other guy, well he knows now i guess were going to have to shoot him. then my daydream ended i guess i was dead. anyway, i came back to the road and started down another path which came to a split. both ways were too wet to ride. then i went back to the road and down another path. this one was short and contained big sand places where four wheelers had driven. i went to the top of this really steep place and was going to ride down but right before i went the brakes stopped working. good thing i noticed when i did or i would have died with no back brakes. i fixed them and was going to go again but they came off again. so i fixed them again. finally i didn't ride down the bank i figured well, maybe it is a sign i don't feel like dying today anyway. then i went down this dirt road and it lead to a cottage. a little wooden box about the size of a small dumpster was about halfway there. i was curious but it looked sort of scary so i left it alone. anway, on my trip i didn't see any wildlife, although i heard a bunch of birds. one that went eee eee eee eee. and i saw lots of pooh. no animals though. i met these girls going home though, they were hanging about. oh time for bed goodnight.

you sit on two stools and the both of them will be pulled out from under you.

And when it's all over....well it's all over.

i once met this guy who didn't exsist.

i worked until 1:30am yesterday it was cruddy. kind of like a poop i had. toilet, toilet in the stall who is the smelliest of them all? isn't it weird how if someone does something stupid because they are stupid, then everyone laughs at them. But if someone does something stupid because they want to act stupid then everyone laughs with them. if you act stupid you are stupid, even if it is in the name of humor. people put themselves up to be more stupid than they are so others will think they are funny, but be sure of this, the person doesn't want others to actually believe they are that stupid. there is a big difference between someone saying something sarcastically, and someone saying something and really meaning it. that is why we pretend we were acting sarcasrically (even if we weren't) so people will think we are funny instead of an idiot. people say well, you have to know how to act in the situation you are in. i say people can act however they want, unless it's like at a funeral or something. anyway, why are you eating toast after three in the morning ever hear of sleep? it is nice out today but very windy. i'm not sure if i will venture into the outdoors on the two wheeled man powered beast of a machine, or if i will simply waste away the day indoors. i need a new bike for my adventures i have planned for this summer. one without grip shift they break too easy in the cold weather.

The toast needs to be eaten.

well I went out in the woods today with a guy from school. We shot at a target for an hour at the most.
There wasn't school today, but for some stupid reason I went in the afternoon to help out with our chemistry Science fair display while parent teacher was going on from 1 to 4pm. But being out in the woods was good. The fresh country air. The spot were we were had been started to be cut down a bit, so being close to the highway made it windy. And yes I did Fail. Only one subject Political Science with a 40%. That sucks I can't complete or rember half of what i am suppose to. To my cover letter now. That reminds me i should mail something. Cookies in the abundance that I eat them can not be healthy.

Less is more.

I hate when technology messes up i should have posted what i wrote even though it was useless but i clicked on team to check something and the letters all disapeared. no more characters. no more , all gone. I think i rember now Burger King, the big king was tasty so was the second one. No onions of course. The red bike rode again today. NO big stunts or tricks of course just pedaling. bunny hops on and off the curb were not going to be easy and wheelies just didn't want to be done. PUDDLES and MUCK said helllloo. I said lets rip up the soil and went on a good muddy and grassy trail around the fence because the whole was destroyed or ( Fixed, Mended, and Repaired as they would say). The dirt was more fun and as for the trail of mud up my back, it does not exist do to the mud gaurd. That makes playing more funny. If entertainment is needed it can easily be removed. As for the entertainment purposes of my bike I am going to need a little less stiffness in the ankle to tackle the foolish tricks I enjoy preforming. As for the beach when it opens. I will have to take up surfing or something. The waters too cold around here anyway. Time to head south where the waves are, or I could wait till I retire. For now I will smell the flowers and drink well water in the country. Someday I will live in a humble cabin, shack, trailer, or cottage. For now a Box or Tent will do. Less is Luxury.

i ate an entire bag of cheesies today. not just a little bag i mean a big one. why do we have to know everything that isn't our business? if we see someone whispering we have to know what they are talking about. if we see someone new we have to find out who they are and what they are doing. just ignoring something we want to know is a very hard thing to do. ..... a coach of a football team told his players he didn't want any of them to get a tatoo. a guy from the team went out and got a big tatoo on his shoulder. it was the team symbol. would the coach still be mad? of course. no means no.

Only you can decide.

snow falls and melts with the sun shiny on it. My bike cutts trails in the earth as i skid every 30 seconds or less. I love the crispness of winter turning to spring as the dirt is half thawed and frozen. The leaves aren't quite returned to the trees. To the metal box again tomorrow . what to be learned but already discovered laws, theory, and principals. What a waste of breath and time. In 2months or so it will all be over with. ..............nothing.......then what............

The thing is, how do you know if you don't know what you're supposed to know. Okay so I know that's a lame attempt at trying to be profound....but seriously...how do I know that?

this is me at work :o| this is me relaxing :o| this is me thinking :o| this is me doing something i really enjoy :o| this is me being bored :o| this is me doing something i hate doing :o| this is me when i feel guilty :o| this is me when something great happens :o| this is me when sick :o| this is me in love :o| this is me away :o)

i updated that link i posted a while ago with a picture of biking at rockwood park. i think it should work now. here it is in case you don't want to scroll down. we are bombarded by endless advertising, people pushing us to buy their products and services any way they know how. coming up with new ways to make us believe they have something we need more than want. its not simply advertisments that pressure us, so many other things do as well. we are pressured, nothing can be how we want it. why can't we just do it they way we want. well because people say that way is wrong. it isn't the way it is supposed to be done. we could just try our way and find out if it is okay, but we can't because it supposedly is wrong. you don't anyone else trying it maybe it is right how should you know, you've never done it and you've never seen anyone who has done it that way. i guess that is why you think it is wrong. because it's not the way you are accustom to. so maybe i will do it anyway. but i'm too pressured by you.. so i can't!···· anyway, here is a little story. okay there were two boys albert and henry. old mr. rooburb asked both boys to shovel the snow from his driveway. he told them he was going to go watch the news and when that was over he would come outside and pay them each if they were shoveling the driveway. so henry looked at the driveway. he was about to start shoveling when he decided he didn't really need the money, and he didn't really like the work, so he decided to go play in the snow. then albert thought about it and decided he would shovel the driveway. he started shoveling and shoveling but old mr. rooburb's driveway was pretty big and he wanted to go play with henry so he decided to stop even though he was only about half way done. a while later old mr. rooburb came outside. he told the boys he would not pay them because they were not shoveling the driveway. then old mr. rooburb went back inside his house. okay that is the end of the little story. my question is this, in the end who was better off henry or albert?

umm not sure if i'll be around in the afternoon more likely in the evening i think i might be going into st john for a bit. skippy likes the nature, i think it's a pretty cool thing too. last night i watched a cool show on birds. yesterday i also went down by the river by my house and just stood there for a while. i think nature can heal the brain somewhat. i'll write more later food time

what are you doing tommorrow afternoon. lets try and talk around 3 or 4 maybe. post a good time and i'll check it should be good for me any old time after 1.

I wrote something that was really meant to be nothing the other day but i must have closed it to quick after i clicked post&publish. well I biked to school finally on thursday. Tonight i went and saw the movie Ice Age. cartoons are halarious. there isn't much going on lately. soon it will be the never remembered month of may. well tomorrow i hope to see some sun, green grass and sky. but what ever does happen tonite in my dreams , i hope has to do with soft fluffy white clouds and adventures to meadows with flowers and grass. to those who know what hour shoves time back in the fall and forward in the spring it is a pleasant rest to remember to alter the clock. To the beach. SUN is soon to shine daily on hard woking individuals giving them a tan for free while savy ignorant individuals head for the beads of UV in some yuppy fitness club for poshe rude people that don't know or want to know someone they don't know. the kind of people consumed with them selves living in a metalic world containing knowlege not wisdom.

i got thirteen hours of sleeping in last night it was cool. it is enjoyable to go to bed. dragging yourself out is not however. i watched the movie sam bass and calamity jane this morning. it was a fine movie indeed. the whole possey died except jane. oh sweet joof troops on i gotta go.

keep silent. only speak when you have something meaningful to say. unless no one important is listening. then go on about whatever you want to. say things like.. `you made rules. i didn't like them but i followed them anyway. then i saw you break your own rules. so now i will make my own rules.` and if you really have nothing meaningful to say just say something like... `i looked inside but there was nothing. i looked inside there was nothing. i looked inside there nothing. i looked inside nothing. looked inside nothing. inside nothing. nothing.` and then when all meaningfulness is lost. say something like.. `jim jim jim jim jimmy jimmy hobo man.` and then make sure your seeing what is actually in front of you.

If i was all alone on an island with nothing what would I do? someone asked me this yesterday in chat when things were run out of to talk about. i figure if i was all alone on an island, i would make myself have many different personalities. and each person would have a job. It would be my own little villiage, secluded from civilization but still operating on its own. the difference is this villiage would be run very well. the citizens would probably agree most of the time but if there was an argument it would be dealt with quickly and with the help of the other citizens. everyone would give their 100 percent to achieve peace and happiness. If someone did something wrong they would be disiplined quickly and harshly. If this community failed it would be the fault of lack of resources or lack of education, not because of one member or because of disagreement. everything would be worked out on my island, our values are strong.

Today is yesterday now. I really want to get that bike out but the rain hindered it today. If its bright i think I might have to consider riding my shinny red bike. down the dull grey road. I will have to bring it in the school so some punk with a brain full of peanuts an pop doesn't take the air out of my tires or vandilize it in some capacity. Why are people so destructive. It must be anger that needs to be released. I think the best way to relieve anger is by running or doin something physically exerting that drains you completely and allows you to sit down and relax afterwards with out you arm twiching to beat the living daylights out of and object or person. Anger needs to be channelled into constructive energy. Sometimes yelling is not even acceptable practice. Even though it is not sometimes it comes out after it builds up. Those that experience the wrath , should accept it willing or run for their life. Some times you are just unable to hold the tension. As much as you can love everyone you can't enjoy people that just don't know how to behave humane.
Here is an exert of a conversation i had tonite i was thinkin a lot as i wrote it i guess// i am going to try to know get to know a person that has morals and standards already set // i willing admit that i do not want commitment // I don't have the time to invest //I need more thought and consideration//
/Education Employment and Establishment are a fore thought //you can't expect to take care of a family without an income //and you can't have a good income without a good job/
/and good education leads to a successful job //so once established you know longer live in a *$#@!y apartment //You leave your independence for //a lifelong committment to someone significant to yourself //and have children as a symbol and success of your relationship //ACC: looks like ya got 'er all planned out //me again:knowing the plan is not the plan fullfilled , and is only one step of the way //knowlege is good but wisdom is necessary to remember to carry it out //i am talking mainly to myself in thought //it helps to say your thoughts or so it feels/

I dont know if i was thinking acurately or not but it helps to get thought down on paper especially when you go back and read it.

don't tell me you think someone is wrong because they are different than you. not everyone is like you get used to it.

blogger wasn't working yesterday so i couldn't write about my biking experience. but i will today.. what i found was that nothing exciting happened, it was weird, because i expected something. but then i found if i didn't expect anything it was exciting. it all depends on how we look at the situation. just having time off work, biking, stopping at Noel's trailor for a minute, buying a refreshing drink at the pharmasy, hearing some dude say, "biking isn't a bad idea when you consider the price of gas." then hearing their wife say, "must be brave to drive out in with those vehicles." if i expected something exciting these things would be dull, but if i don't expect anything these things are exciting. skippy informed me my picture link didn't work. im not sure why but i will leave it. maybe fix it sometime. i stare at the computer screen because i don't know what to write back to the messages im recieving from this person. (not skippy someone else)

The grass smells real but somehow all these plastic and metal boxes don't feel that way. I sat out on my bench a good spot to think an listen. I am not sure i hear what plans to make to take and to prepare. How many times has it been that i have been seated and pondering the finer points of doing something more useful then that of the moment on hand. I wish that... a well umm ya know some things can't just be the way they are without... a good reason or goal. But school these days seems so much like a sound trapped in a closet and just bouncing around not being heard. The aspiration to attain is not as strong or as pulling as it could be. Somehow there needs to be a solution to the not so easily fixed problem. In a feild stuff is open and colorful. Take the grass and soil and there is emptiness so leave things as they are good.

ever have that feeling that you are anticipating something exciting to happen. something good. like it's just about time for something out of the ordinary to happen. but then nothing happens. i've got that feeling right now. except it is fading away because nothing is happening. it's like a six sense, but it doesn't seem to be working right today. but maybe i'm just suppose to wait a while. or maybe i'm not suppose to wait. maybe i have to do something. but what? what do i have to do to make the thing happen. maybe if i get off my butt and do something it will happen. i think i will go for a bike ride. (pedel bike you didn't actually think i had a motor bike did you) hmmm.. where should i travel to? i wonder if it is cold.. doesn't look too bad but i think it's windy which makes biking difficult. hmm, i bet my tires need air and there is no pump around either. here is a picture taken at rockwood park from when me and brother went biking there last year. grand old fun. we got down some pretty crazy trails and we were pretty pooped when we got home. well i will peace out for now but when i get back i will be sure to let you know what exciting thing happened.

Even worse advice , go for her best friend, or get to know her mum. Its important to know the kinda of people she hangs out with, what she could be or look like someday. If you want to look at it this way you always need a purpose. If you don't have a purpose your just playing a game and are going to devistate people , think first, life is not just a game. So your purpose is either for temporary or long term fulfillment. So if your thinkin temporary fulfilment you probably don't need too much advice yet except that treat the relationship same way you would look for a good friend a person you will spend time with and share your different everyday experiences together. Long is Long like forever so think far (distant). If you don't want someone who's lazy, an alcoholic. unemployed,and stupid, you shouldn't go for someone that has similar traits to Television Idols (i.e. Homer Simpson),If you want someone that knows how to cook get your fine friend to cook you a meal. You don't even have to do this , if the persons reciepe book contains jello, k-dinner, packet porriage, cereal, canned food, pre-packaged, and frozen dinners, either they cant afford to buy good food, or more likely they just dont know a thing about food preperation. The worst places to be looking for someone is the (4)un-employment centre (3)welfare check line (2)Jail (1)Stop signs or Merge zones. Remember don't even think about people that do things that erk you or get under your skin. well thats enough baby food for one night. i think i am going to have some toast and a mug of ovaltine mixed with warm milk. Another thing spend time drinking coffee(or other non-alcoholic beverage) and spend time talking.

Yesterday i went to dinner at the Falls with ennaoJ and airaM. Do they dig me or not? maybe.But give it a few days and that could change. I don't think what they think really matters at the moment, so i will try and remember that , single is better. Freedom is no commitment. Salohcin Nosrebluc Leader of the Nomlas is cutting up selling the the carcasses of many of the minorities protected peoples group. They have been trucking away the bones for years before he took control of the gruesome operation of the ethnic cleasing of the Nomlas . well that has nothing to do with the fact that it's a monday. Rehtom just brought me my chocalate cake and i can eat it . My bike is ready to be taken to school. i might bike tomorrow if it looks nice out only if. But if i burn the toast i won't . because everything will be to metallicy an distracting to my concentration of what is happening, like being trapped floating in a mirror sphere. Dont say yes, say maybe,or i am not sure, lets look at all the possibilities of what to that is where the when it had been so to way up with at in on how.

i gave someone access to write in the blog, so he might have some stuff to say.

i didn't get to update yesterday on easter. happy easter yesterday. i was going to write stuff yesterday but then a friend called and i talked to them for a long time. okay so im gonna give advice on getting girls. not that i can get girls it is just my opinion on how i think you can get girls or something. okay what i am saying is i cant get chicks but i will still write some advice on it. i don't know though, im not real sure where to start, or if i have any advice at all. i guess my advice would change pretty much daily or at least weekly because i am always changing my mind. something i've changed my mind about is how people always say "just be yourself". well i used to think whoever made that up was probably a lonely, single man/woman. but i'm not too sure now. i think acting fake can maybe get you a chick but probably it won't last very long. like i mean if you put on you are someone you are not, as soon as they find out who the real you is they will tell you to get lost. although i guess it isn't always real easy to tell what the real you is. maybe you should just pretty much act the same around girls you do like as the girls you don't like (well not exactly the same but do you get what i mean?) umm, another thing is i would say don't set your standards too high. if you are an ugly dude like me you might as well just get over it and go for a chick that isn't super hot. as long as you are attracted to her. super hot chicks get hit on all the time thus don't think anything of it, where a non-supermodel girl will think more of it when you go for her. you may think personality has no value but you'd be surprised man, it does matter. and hot chicks hardly ever have good personalities. just go for the girl you like and make sure you don't care what anyone else thinks of the person. okay let's focus on how to find a girl in the first place. im not real good at this. uhh i guess if you are in any kind of groups that'd be where you might find them. school or college. work. or whatever else you do, wherever else you hang out. i don't know. okay the first think you gotta do i think is make sure the girl knows you want her. like maybe coming right out and telling her might not be the best way especially if you don't know her name yet or something. but talk to her when other people are around so she knows your intrested in her, and not that you just like to blab with everyone. i would say get some courage up. asking for phone numbers is always good. then getting the courage up to call. this isnt such a problem if you know the person, it's harder if you don't know them. try to think of something somewhat interesting to talk about. try to be somewhat funny. another thing i would say is don't be too too nice. if you are too too nice it might seem a little strange, cause your probably not that nice around other people. it is all about playing the little game. maybe there is a way around the game but i don't know it. if you are a bit of a jerk it might actually help, nice guys usually don't win. i'm not sure why the idiots always get the girl. maybe it's because if a girl thinks she can get you too easy, you arn't good enough. who knows. i guess you could say don't try too hard. if you try too hard you might end up being too nice which i don't think always works. don't be too much of an idiot either though. if you are not trying too much and just letting things happen you are probably going to be more interesting and your humor will actually be funny instead of like, "hey ever hear the one about the guy who...". another thing i would have to say is don't always act like you want the girl to stop playing games with you. if she's playing mind games with you then maybe she hasn't figured things out in her own mind. maybe she doesn't know her own feelings and so she's just playing the game until she figures stuff out. sometimes i think its good to back off maybe a little bit. if she thinks you are giving up or starting to get interested in someone else she might give you some sort of sign that she is still interested. which is good. girls like attention, just like guys. i don't think you should wait too long to ask a girl out if you think you may have a chance. and if you don't think you have any chance, either you need more self esteme or your going for the wrong chick. i say don't get too discourage when you get rejected it is bound to happen a few hundred times. and if you havn't got rejected and you don't have a woman, you are not trying hard enough. okay well thats my advice for today, if you follow it you'll end up like me. alone. okay thats all talk to you tomorrow.