Fail

uh...yeah

LIsten to this tune

i went back and checked the first message i ever got at my current email address. it was from a girl i went to highschool with. "you better not back out on me for prom:) just teasing!!! well what can I say I really don't know to much.....just whats going on with myself.I have to busy to hear anything...plus I can't wait to start college but anyway I'll write you more later...hope to hear from you soon. hugs&kisses," I'm trying to think of what that was all about. since i didn't go to the prom with her. who knows.
ever feel like you took something way too far. like maybe you made a joke, and it wasn't funny the first time and it sure wasn't funny the next eight times either.
ever feel like someone is jealous of you. maybe for just a minute. that's pretty sweet.
ever feel like people are saying a bunch of stuff behind your back. but then you feel like you're not even important enough for gossip.
ever feel like everyone thinks a certain thing about you, and when you prove them wrong you feel like shoving it in their face. but you can't because no one actually said anything.

The other day me and jordan were walking back from tim hortons and some guy standing on the sidewalk was all mad because he was short five grams. he started freaking out and told us to get out of his way and he ran by us and kicked a mailbox. it was funny.
It's funny when parents say, "if you don't come now i am leaving without you." Why would you tell your child you are going to leave without them. you wouldn't do that.
"Don't touch that if you break it we have to buy it." No, more likely if they break it you will stick it back on the shelf and hope nobody noticed.
Yesterday at work a lady said excuse me, is this costume really 39.98? (all discusted) I said, yup. Then I think she realized it was pointless to bring me aside and ask me if the price tag was real, since i can't change the price, i don't want to change the price, and i couldn't care less if she bought it or not.
Yesterday this girl told me she worked at mcdonalds before, and she would never get mad if the food took more than 30 seconds or however long it is supposed to take. She said she understood what it was like for the workers. I tried to explain that if the policy says you get your food in 30 seconds, you should get your food in 30 seconds. But I agreed that it isn't the workers fault, i think if they can't get it out in 30 seconds the store should hire more people or change their policy. The girl then said, well they hire a lot of people but everyone always calls in sick. well i said they should pay more money so they don't have to hire those people. then she said she didn't want to argue because she had a headache. so yah.. I don't argue unless I am right.

Well I got that sega for .25 cents. They were thinking of making it a dollar minimum bid but that would make no sense, you can't go and change the rules to an auction after it's already over. kinda bummed me out that they charged me 4 cents taxes too. and to think they called me cheap.
anyway, that cafeteria at the college is strange. this morning i buy the breakfast but tell the lady i don't feel like eggs today. so i go to pay for it and the lady at the cash register charges me more than normal. so i ask why and the lady is like, you didn't get eggs so i have to charge you for everything seperate now, it isn't the special anymore. so i said, well i will go get some eggs but i am just going to throw them in the garbage. but she still made me go get some eggs. so they went in the garbage. and people are starving in our world. some things make no sense.
it can be amusing when you're somewhere where there are a lot of people around and they all smell different. and it's like.. umm i think that guy ate chinese food. and that lady has too much perfume on. and this buddy smokes. and that chick needs to find some strong enough for a man but made for a woman deodorant.
I think if we are in a good mood we should just be in that mood. and not wonder why. because if we wonder why and there is no reason why we are in a good mood then we might end up in a bad mood.

Violent.

I wanted to know if i could draw better than when i was a kid so it's 11:20 and i've finished my art work.. uhh... this sucks, my creativity hasn't gotten any better.

well i am still alive, wasn't so bad. COLD on friday night, WET on saturday, now drY warM and eXtra COMFY tonite (good seems so much beter after not quite as good). well i still don't know what to do next month and only 11 days or so left to decide. hesitant about what descision would be a good one. The new boots were definitely a plus trudging through muck, dirt, wet, grass, marshy fields, puddles, and ditches. cant complain about any of the weekends events. I work monday & wednesday nite, and next weekend. time to get into good routine a scheduling, as for usual. i got to suggest that i want to be super organized.

Well yesterday at work i convienently couldn't find the pajamas i was going to wear. ended up getting bored though and wearing an old housecoat for an hour or so. they had this silent auction thing there. I bidded 25 cents on an old sega genises and a ornament of a seal. hopefully someone else bidded on them or i will have to bring home some junk. i shouldn't talk about work or school because those things are somewhat boring to write about. so they must be right boring to read about. yah.. so this guy has been singing for like ten minutes in a different internet explorer window.

I made a piece of toast this morning and then forgot about it. reheated toast isn't too great. man I am supposed to wear pajamas at the store today. Problem is I don't own such things. So I figured that got me out of that one, but then they said wear some from the store. mmm.. used pajama bottoms. that's somewhat sick. i think i will wear them over my pants.
girls.. don't ever cry over a guy and if you do don't ever let him know you did. you will do the exact opposite of what you wanted to do. his self esteme will just go up.
i had this strange dream last night. i'm not going to tell you all of it but in part i was going to commit suicide so i went up to the top of this cliff and was going to jump off. but i had my bookbag with me and it fell off the cliff, and i watched it fall. then suddenly i decided i didn't want to jump.

I havn't written in here in a long time. I think maybe this is a blank time where things happen but they are not anything i want to write down. I am getting a sweatshirt that says my name and college course on it. my friend in nursing is getting it made for me i wanted to put that i was a nurse on it like they are but that is supposedly misrepresenting myself or something. Oh man i have to go for work.. i will write more later.

i will try an say some words of use despite the error. Too many times i lose thought and track of what i am doing and where i am going. just because school is finished doesn't mean life stops. a learning experience it could be an adventure, no more like a quest, something of challenge, to be conquered like a journey of not knowing. It is possible and could be fun, well i guess i will see when the basket weaves together.

laundry is starting to bother me. it is such a waste of time, but i hate playing the "now what lying around here smells the least worst" game. Sometime you just feel like telling someone right off . But instead I guess we are supposed to keep it all bottled up inside so all at once we BASH SOMEONE in the side of the face.
There are too many people in the world who don't realize people are trying to take advantage of them.
There are too many people working hard for something but i don't think they know what it is.
We've got this BBQ at school and each week people in the class put in 10 dollars and we have burgers every day.
Every year around the middle of October I have a haloween/Autum moment. When this moment hits I am usually outside. It is cold but sunny. Something feels right and suddenly... C'est L'aloween starts playing in my head. (it's french I don't know how to spell it.) anyway, it just keeps going C'est L'aloween twice and then you yell Hey. I hit the moment today.
Chords: G C2 D C2
C'est L'aloween, C'est L'aloween
HEY
repeat forty or so times. I made up the guitar part, I doubt they are the real chords for the song.

Moses: My doctrine shall drop as the rain, my speech shall distil as the dew, as the small rain upon the tender herb, and as the showers upon the grass: Because I will publish the name of the Lord: ascribe ye greatness unto our God. / ( deuteronomy 32:2,3)

Man you are becoming like a Tim Horton's junkie. Careful, that stuff adds up in more ways than one.

Oh yah, and it is spelled Horton's not Hortens.

i didn't do anything i planned to do to day, I can't remember what I planned to do today. I want'd to do what i had planned to do today. I am a lazy procrasinator. Today i took the bicyle for a rip down the street, and a real tear back up. A little windy for the ears but what of it. yesterdays supper lacked nutrition, a wonder bar, a sweet marie bar, and a 500ml carton of chocolate milk followed later on by some nachos a can of mountain dew and a glass of vanilla coke.

some guys sat in our usual seats. i was going to ask them to move but i didn't really have a good reason except it is my seat. i've realized i have become one of those weird guys who sits by themselves and stares into no where. like that guy tonight with the beard and he was doing some thinking. daydreaming is sweetness.

i think i make people depressed sometimes. like i just have to walk by them and they suddenly hate themselves. i hope that isn't the way but maybe. thankfully the shower is now fixed..
I came home saturday to find a .txt file on the desktop that started out as "Unfortunately the hot water tap in the shower is broken."
I like how when you write things no one can diagree with you. Nick you are beautiful. haha, no you're not. oh shutup Nick, this was supposed to be a one sided conversation.
sometimes i hate it that there are two nicks in there.
im heading down to tim hortens, i'll let you know how it goes when i get back.

jordan and i went to tim hortens last night and that girl was there, and so was that dude who tries to hit on her.
Jordan and I were talking about how people have written us letters but we've never written back. I think I've done that too many times. I guess for me it's just i don't think about people when i am away from them, and also writing snail mail kind of sucks.
today i ate under two dollars. i went to sobeys and bought a banana, an apple, and a bag of colslaw. $1.77. eating healthly is horrible. i need a burger.
I saw kesha on the bus today (remember her jordan) i guess she lives uptown now. she asked what you were up to and stuff.
If you do something strange in a public place, the way people look at you is much different depending on if you are in a group or if you are by yourself. If you are in a group then you are "preforming" if you are by yourself you're weird.

so last night i take a stroll down to the tim hortens and i get in line and sure enough jordan comes in behind me. that girl wasn't even working.
sometimes i imagine really good things are just my fate and when i die i will be proud of myself.
But then i realize only half of what happens is fate, and i decide the other half.
i think tonight would be a good wander around the park night.