Fail

umm, it's my birthday. sometimes it's funny what people can be jealous of. someone will look down at a person, and they will think they are better than them. but then what happens when that person who is looked down upon does something good or thinks of a good idea before the first someone. well the person who looked down on the other person, they get really jealous, because they think, hey i should have thought of that, or i should have done that, i'm smarter. haha it makes me laugh. i just laugh and laugh and laugh when i see that happen. oh man there isn't something better than that. then the person gets mad. it makes it even more funny. oh the so called "losers" always win. man you know what else is weird, how everything has to always be twisted. if you say something dirty, okay. if you say something not dirty and someone makes it dirty. that wasn't funny. well i am nineteen and still don't know everything. beanpole.

wow i must have been real bored last night for writing all that stuff. tonight i will keep it a little shorter. man i think gossip can really wreck a person. once a person gets gossiped about by someone its like they are the outcast and then everyone talks about them behind their back, and they can suddenly do nothing right. gossiping is an easy thing to do. finding girls on the other hand is more difficult. okay that is all, i have to work at 7 tomorrow. and i also have to work easter sunday that is no good.

i would like to add something from my buddy jordan about carpet. "It would have to be the thick shag fluffy carpet. the kinda stuff you find in a seventies movie. orange. you could be laying on it dreamin about somethin happenin. that did or doesn't really happen. you some how went into another reality when you began counting the strands. 100002 100003 100004. bizzzuahahauuuuzizizizihu. zap?! it would make your body jolt. like you had to many cans of highly caffinated beverages." yah so thats a little something from him. a friend quit school because she thinks it sucks. i talked to her mom about it and she thinks the education system sucks too. she also dropped out of school, i guess thats why she works with me. it is all about decisions. small ones, big ones, medium ones. decisions effect what is going to happen. our whole life can be effected by one decision. and some decisions we make we don't really know our options, or what the consiquences are. it's easy to jump off the tracks if a train is coming, that's a easy decision. but what if we didn't see the train. would we still stay on the tracks? enough about that. i think it is never good to take charge of a situation. if you stand back and pretend you don't know what is going on you won't get hurt, or feel stupid when something you did backfires in your face. always stay in the safe zone. many people would disagree which makes me think i am probably wrong about that. it is funny how people have different opinons about everything. and everyone thinks they are right. it is hard to think we all have it right. some of us must be wrong. sometimes you just have to choose. maybe no one is right. maybe we're all right, in some way. be opened to other opinions theirs might make more sense, although someone else will probably come up with a new idea that seems better, and some other one, then who knows who is right? who knows? all i say is whatever option you choose, you could be wrong. everyone has it figured out in their own mind. or do they. maybe they just say they do. although, i must say, usually those who say they are opened to different ideas are not. they just say they are. maybe to pretend they actually choose it with reasonable research. when in reality they had already choose before they researched. i am tired i doubt this made sense. good night nick. yah i'll talk to you in the morning man.

so anyway, what's up with these ab doers they always advertise on TV? man who actually thinks an electric shock will give them rock hard sexy abs? and it's like 5 payments(not 6) of 30 bucks plus shipping for the thing. who actually believes this stuff? i mean, can we really look good and also be lazy? ahhh, so umm.. anyone get that one eight hundred number or what?

i think not to do something then go right ahead and do it, i never take my own advice. this week has been pretty busy, 15 hours monday and 13 today. i am tired. i will write when i get a brain back. ticky ticky ticky woow labablbaba.

Sometimes it is good to have something on your mind so when you start talking to someone and they are boring you to death you can just think about whatever it was that was on your mind. get what i am saying? "use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without." i just read that from a plack on the wall. can this be applied to love? "treat her fair, help a bit, care about how she feels, or you'll be making your own meals." |\|ick doesn't know. i watched that nature film today.

hmm my blog page isn't working. oh well, i can still update it. anyway, i just watched the movie inspector gadget. dispite the silliness and stupidity, i still found it an enjoyable movie.

does anyone besides me make faces at themselves when they look in the mirror? (like when no one else is around) Well i just assume everyone does this but maybe it's just me? I'm not sure why I do it maybe because i think, what if there is another world in there. like maybe in that dimension there's a guy who looks like me, but when he walks away he lives a different life. I just think.. i wonder if this other guy is as stupid as me. So I check it out. I smile from ear to ear and do a happy dance. yup, my conclusion is this other guy is as dumb as me. I don't know, maybe I make faces in the mirror because i can't do it anywhere else or people may think I'm a little cracked. i don't know, but i'm glad we can see our reflections. otherwise we wouldn't know how ugly we were and we would ask out a real hot chic not knowing we had no chance. im going to go play with toys. i mean.. no.. im going to go do something intelligent like read a chapter book. i mean a novel. one with big words and deep meanings.

it has been a day of computer bumming and TV. (mainly westerns) we are having homeade pizza for supper. im not really sure why i called this blog fail, but maybe it is because some things are just failures. like this blog, i figured it would probably end up failing. i would stop writing in it after a few posts. that will probably still be the case. a lot of things end up failing. but maybe we shouldn't look at stuff as failures. maybe they are just lessons. lessons to try harder, learn where our limits are, slow down, speed up, or maybe just to forget the whole thing. we need things to fail for things to succeed. too bad failing is a lot easier than succeeding. the main way to not fail is to learn from others. instead of ourselves making the mistakes, just watch someone else do it instead. always let someone else try first. on a different note, i went walking today and it was cold.

we will be serving beans and hotdogs followed by a musical preformance. it is past midnight. it must be saturday. i suddenly would enjoy a chocolate milk. eh big crapa load aff poopeh crap.

If your day starts out good, it will most likely get worse. If everyone is treating you well, someone will probably backstab you. So... if you are having a bad day and everyone sucks.. be happy because you can be almost certain your day will inprove.
how is someone's personality formed? do they decide it themselves? does it come from outside influences? Is it simply given to them at birth? Maybe it is a combination of many things. who knows. it is friday night and everyone is out running the roads. but some good news is my car is going to be covered under their insurance.

i feel like watching a good nature program today but i think they are only on sundays. i wish i didn't chew my fingernails, they don't taste good. i look at the cemetry across the road and wonder if those people were here today what kind of advice they would give me.

Time makes no sense to me. past, present and future. how something can happen and then it is just over. it will never happen again. if the passing of time were to speed up or slow down would we notice it? how can something we do today just be all over but then effect tomorrow. i suppose memory is everything. if we didn't remember we wouldn't exist. good thing we have memories. why can't everyone just be like me? I don't think the world revolves around me. I just wish it did.

i am tired. i worked 14 hours today. and i have to go back to that hole tomorrow at 8. isn't it a weird thing how you really don't know your friends as well as you think. a good friend can turn their back in hard times and a stranger can give you a hand when your down on your luck. i think it's important stay a good friend, even if it might cost you something. well maybe not if the other person is being an idiot.. but remember the good guys always win. isn't it a good feeling when you wake up remembering a good dream you just had? doesn't it suck how the sleep button only lets you sleep for another 9 minutes. im going to invent a clock where the sleep button gives you at least another half hour.

I sit at home. because my car is busted. I wonder why we are so pressured into doing everything the way our culture tells us to do it. oh yeah, and no one should pluck their eyebrows because it hurts. even if it makes you supposedly more beautiful.

I think knowing the future would be a punishment. exciting yes... but beneficial no.