Fail

Yah I tried the deli last night actually. Was somewhat satisfying. Today I felt like eating cheap so i walked down to the market and bought a potatoe and fried it in some old vegitable oil i found in the back of the cupboard. I think I put too much vegitable oil in, i feel kinda crappy, but hey thats what you get for trying to eat for fifty cents. also i need to do the dishes i have resorted to buttering on the peanut butter with the back of the spoons and eating out of those ziplock containers.
the other day me and jordan went down to the tim hortens and there was a somewhat pretty girl who worked there and said hi nick. then she was like oh sorry and went into the washroom. so i asked the other lady at the counter who she was and she talked over the headset to her in the restroom and i guess she knew someone who looked like me whos name was nick. there was some dude who kept coming in and trying to hit on her and we asked her about him and she said he came in like a bunch of times each night, so thats pretty funny. when we were leaving she came out wiped down the outside of the door, and then she walked in the direction of us to pick up some garbage in the parking lot. i told jordan she was following us but he didn't think so. anyway, i'll go back sometime. that would be funny if i got there and jordan was already there.
sometimes we do fidgitty things for some reason. don't you hate that when you are doing something fidgity and then you realize you've been really annoying everyone. actually i guess its funny. well, i say if everyone didn't try to make our lives so boring all the time we wouldn't have to be fidgity.

As an alternative to the 6" veggie sub, you could go for any one of the deli-sandwich selections. The bread content will be slightly smaller, but you can achieve greater quality by actually introducing some protein into the meal. Subway is good because you can tell them to add more and more veggies and more and more condiments at no extra cost, depending on how hungry you are. Also, after a few more months, you will be downgrading that breakfast 4-star rating. Personally I think that the wendys option deserves 4 stars. Okay now that I look at this I am confused. How does the rice get a 5-star rating? It is rice! For one thing, have you actually priced rice lately? You can buy like a zillion pounds of rice for $3.00.

Cold is not fun. It is one of lifes physical pains along with hunger, and brokeness(beaten). on the reverrse the warm is a good feeling that makes you feel super fuzzy and even happy. good things are always appreciated more after hardship. a soft bed after sleeping in a prison. a peaceful cottage after being in a bustling city. I like when good things happen but accept that without the bad they wouldn't continue to be fulfilling. PERFECT ....... humm, i can not grasp the word at present, it sends my mind into a series of circular loops and spins. something i want to be and try to be daily but never obtain. maybe i just need to continue to push on try my hardest and keep trying more. life is confusing for me , but i will try to understand it somehow.

I did laundry today. I brought the guitar with me and when I was walking down i saw this guy who had a guitar so I talked to him for a minute. He said he had been playing for twenty five years. While my clothes were being washed I walked back to the park and he was there again but when I told him to play something he said he was just about to leave. Anyways, so I sat around and played the guitar and watched some drunk old guys causing a scene.

I ate at house of chan. bought a big old thing of rice for 2.49+tax. Didn't even finish it all, definately a good deal. actually...

Nick's under three menu: (all prices include taxes, all meals come with water)
1) Mcadees 2 hamburgers $2.30 **
2) Subway 6" veggie sub $2.98 ***
3) House of Chan Plain fried Rice $2.86 *****
4) Wendy's A hamburger and a 1.39 menu option $2.97 ***
5) NBCCSJ One egg breakfast $2.10 ****

1) 2 cheeseburgers is 2.74. isn't very filling and mclaxidives leaves you feeling sucky.
2) This is okay but not always enough, make sure you load up the vegitables
3) good size plate of rice, they have the sauce set out for you so you can take a crapload of it.
4) I suggest the fries, chilli cheese nachos, or just chilli.
5) it's actually 2 bucks but they are cheap and charge you an extra 10 cents for the water. filling, but greesy.

Oh the list will get longer as time goes on.
The other day I bought the breakfast at college and i got some water and brought it up to pay and the lady said, a drink comes with that. I said, doesn't it cost more? she said yes. hmm.. how does it come with it if it costs more?

went for a bike ride. it was raining pretty hard so i didn't go long. went down to rockwood park. i was quite wet so i just sat by the pond. i was hoping to see some mating ducks or something so i could get a good laugh, but i didn't. they quacked a bit though. anyway, then i got cold and wished it would go away, but since i wasn't moving it didn't. then i came back home. and now here i am. came home from school today at 11 30 so i played some guitar. broke one of jordans strings so i will buy new ones sometime.
that piece of skin between your thumb and hand is sort of funny. oh and i decided to name the gerbil Bishop.
College is too much like highschool. I think I've realized people and things never change through a lifetime. I've also realized we all look different, but when it comes to personalities, no one is unique. That is why when we first meet someone we've decided what they are like in the first like minute. it is because you know like fifteen other people that act exactly like them.
it's busted again, surprise surprise

today was my second day at the value village. i basically just wander around the store right now. today at school i layed in a bed and a nurse practiced making it while i was in it. (i guess that is something they have to learn how to do.) ahh, it was cool. there was a thing in the bed called a soaker, in case i messed myself. I thought about peeing the bed to make it more realistic, but i still had afternoon classes. Right now it is almost midnight and i feel like running around outside, soaking back some somewhat fresh air. but instead i will go stand on the deck.
a while ago these two guys were playing hacky sack and i tried to join in but they were a whole lot better than me.
Being able to not care about something can be a hard lesson learned. Sometimes we start out thinking something is important but then it turns out not important. Maybe that's why puberty is such a sucky part of life, we havn't figured out what we shouldn't care about. uhh.. puberty.. its a funny word. i remeber when we first learned about puberty in school and the teacher said it like a poo sound instead of pew. like pooberty. we made fun of him. yah all my posts are late because this is always busted. i'm going to go on the deck now.

That thing that I said might happen today didn't happen. because of my own stupidity of course. sometimes i put my priorities in the wrong things. When we're thinking about a bunch of stuff we want to do, sometimes we concentrate on all the different things, but not the order to do them in. From now on let's somewhat organize our thoughts.
I went biking after school today to rockwood park and came out on this road. Then I stopped at a convienence store for some powerade and noticed a scoop of ice cream was only 80 cents. there was only like eight kinds but it still seemed like a good price so I bought one, it was tasty.
it's busted again

I think I saw a wang. so i think it is a male gerbil. I went in after school and he was completely covered in wood chips and asleep. man this guy has worse sleeping habits than dan. last night i woke up to him knawing on his metal cage, so i had to transfer him into the closet. I mean I encourage strong teeth and making a nice bed to sleep in but at two a.m.?
i went for a walk but it starting raining and i got wet.
i have an idea of something cool that might happen tomorrow, i will let you know if it happens.
this is still busted.

this is busted

I can sew, but i have never tried to knit. I never wear necklaces or bracelets so why bother making them cares that whenever I happen to get bored I try to think of something to buy to waste more time.
About the cop, it all happened on a foggy smoggy day in the city like any other day, except this one never mind I will explain later.

There was a knock at the backdoor today. It was a cop. I figured I was going to be arrested or something, or maybe he thought this was a crack den from the look of the back deck, but I guess he was looking for someone in one of the apartments below and couldn't get in the front door. So I let him in through the apartment. I went for a walk tonight down to the casway. then i was going to go to rockwood park but only got to the overpass down there and sat down and thought about things for a while.
I bought a gerbil today. I forgot to ask if it is male or female though so i dont know what to name it. oh well maybe it doesn't need a name. I figure I will just wait until it tells me what it wants to be called. Today I basically just got to know it. At first it seemed kind of refined but I am sure in time we will both open up and be able to share experiences.
sometimes i do something or say something and when i walk away i am thinking.. whoa that was cool. but then like five minutes later or not even i realize it was really dumb and everyone thinks i am an idiot. i played ball hockey the other day it was pretty cool and i need to excersize more.
Sometimes it is hard to know what to think about yourself.

We had like two, one hour breaks at college today. hopefully it gets somewhat more intense. i had somebodies necklace in my pocket today and it was one of those really small ones and it got all tangled. it sucked because it took me forever to get it untangled. i was bored tonight so i went up for a walk in the loyalist burrial grounds. thought i might play some hacky sack but ended up just sitting with this guy and girl on the grass. she offered me some of her beer but i passed. he left after i sat down but i talked to her about schooling and traveling and hitchhiking and organic farms and stuff.
Anyway, never have high expectations of things. I know I say that a lot in fail but it is true, if you have high expectations you will be disapointed. If you have low expectations you will be surprised. That's why the second movie is never as good as the first one. You watch the first one and you think it is great so you expect too much out of the second. And that's why people are addicted to drugs. well actually no i dont think.

I was on the bus a while ago and there were a group of guys high school aged. It is funny to observe them. one person is usually the leader. then there are people in the group who try to be best buddies with the leader. then there are a people who just say a thing here and there and you can tell they wish they were as cool as their buddies but don't really know how. I don't think we mature. Basically, we do the same immature things as we always did, and make the same dumb comments as we always did. Just not around younger people.
Aunt Jemima, Aunt Jemima, ohhhhhh, Aunt Jemima I like your syrup on my pancakes and waffles.

Some things just make no sense. like how i just emailed brother and he said is this the mailman, and i replied no this is Chito. then i logged on to check the blog and it said Chito? Are you there? hmmm.. i thought he must be online but the post was dated 9:32am.
i had lots of stuff to put in fail this weekend but couldn't get on the computer.
something that has been scaring me lately is that i think i am starting to feel sensitive to some of those sappy commercials on tv.

Chito? Are you there?

work was okay, I got my new uniform, they call them cad pats , cad=? pat=pattern. digital is funny, yesterday is funny.

went to church today. went home and did next to nothing. went on the internet to type some stuff. well pops doesn't want to co-sign for a fourwheeler. tomoorrow night i go to work so i guess that i will have to shave eventually. filling up water pictures isn't a wholle lot of fun. i am trying to think of being useful but not sure of how to go about it with my blank and broken thoughts, but i am sure the more i think of it i will be ablte to come out of neutral and instead of just always coasting around i will accellerate.

today was a pretty dull day. didn't do too much, just went and got a haircut. played some guitar by myself down by the beaver fountain. some girl came up to me and said she went to school with me. i couldn't remember her name though. she offered to share some weed with me. then some drunk lady talked to me but i didn't understand her to much. me and jordan went to tim hortens and coming back some drunk guy told us he was the rcmp and to get on the ground. all in all it was a somewhat boring day.
it doesn't matter what other people think about you. it matters what you think other people think about you.

it is strange the things you do when you wake up and are kind of in a dased state. last night i remeber waking up with a dry throat, but instead of getting up and getting a drink of water, i figured i must be allergic to my pillow, and that is what was making my throat dry. i threw my pillow away from my bed. this morning when i woke up with no pillow i laughed.
i am going to go monday for a interview at the value village.
"get this freakin duck away from me."

i changed a setting so now you can see when you hit enter in a post. today has been a 1965 Chevelle going along a country road abiding by the speed limits. well so far that is what it has been.. i will let you know if it changes. at lunch a lady working with student loans at the college drove me over to the bank so i could get my account information, i wanted it. and then we went and bought some mcadees food. then back at the college i met this cute girl and some of her friends. they are in the nursing assistant course. why can't i ever do anything smart like go into a nursing assistant course.

today is a day??? days are like cars that pass by. some pass by fast other quite slow. some seem like they will never pass. some are colorful, others are dull and dark, some are falling apart and barely make it. while others flash by all shinny. today was a model T ford passing by on a country dirt road, not kicking up any dust, just rolling by getting from the barn to the house. Today, today , to-day TO-day, day = sunrise to sunset, to =???????? i think its just an extra word to make sentences blend together, ie. i went to the store, i hate to go to school , maybe i am too tired today to get it. i just won't use the word "to" anymore.

well as for what i did during the day. I go work, at work i hand in papers that get me my travel claim and my pay and leave pay. i recieved a phone call telling me that on monday i work, and that next weekend there is a range shoot. i have to remind my supervisor of my interesting in taking that course up in kingston on monday night.
i will get those boots tomorrow, and talk with that guy about the books as well, call me and tell me what books you need for school so i knows what ones you need specifically. i stopped by your place thursday afternoon, but you weren't around, i figured you were with that sarah girl to her place, so you like the chinese ladies eh, well i will try and write some more usefull stuff once i forget about not using the word "to".

okay now which chick were you refering to Tim? The one who worked at the park and (uhhhh huh huh huh) showed us stuff. or, the chick with the grey shirt on walking the dog? I need to apply for more jobs. umm.. yah i havnt updated the blog in a long time but i will more for sure when life starts getting way boring. umm, i started school it seems to be going alright so far, today i only had classes until 10:45, then went home. then i went to sarah's house for a while and then to a college and career group. we ate supper and played games it was cool. i met some chinese girls. one was from northern china and one was from southern china. they said they didn't like the university here too much because it is so small. they said it is the same size as a middle school in china. thats pretty funny. so basically i told you my lifes latest events for no reason. this journal will get more interesting i swear, keep tuning in and you won't be disapointed. it might even get an amazing update later tonight. man you just never know.

We definately should have got the Irving Nature Park chick.