Fail

well i figured i would do something useless so i walked down to that smashed up building. now there is some police tape around it and some burned stuff is laying on the sidewalk. it is boarded up now too. i went down around queen square. there are some strange individuals around that part of town. i saw some lady twice and she asked me for money both times, but then the second time realized she had already asked me and said something about it being her loss. i can't spare any spare change, you're short more than a quarter, and you wouldn't buy a room at the Y or a coffee with my money anyway.

hmmm. havn't written in this journal much lately. not much to say. school was alright today but it seemed like a week of school all in one day. hmmm, think i will go to bed early and get some sleep tonight. oh wait i have homework for the first time. i should have done it at school and not left early because once i get home the books never want to leave the bookbag. anyway, i dont really have much to say. except someone told me i had a baby face today. that sucked.

today i did some work at my church moved a whole lot of stuff off of the stage from amplifiers to a zilgian cymbol. Today went half swell i bought some licorice. I work thursday, but not doing the nifty thing. I think i will head into the city to drop off a resume, maybe. i think i pretend to be depressed once in a while, maybe its just a slight lack of energy or an inability or uncertainty of what to do. the answer to the question lies waiting in tomorow's adventure's. no i don't expect a bright flash of light or to fall flat on my face in the snow. if those things do happen it will be sunrise then me slipping on ice or icy covered snow. time to be courageous and jump from the bridge onto the train. ( in a figuritive sense that is)who knows maybe that train ride would be fun who knows end up in montreal or something. i will half to take some week for a crazy adventure. somethin new fresh, somethin that makes me feel like i do after i put on some clothes after i washed the laundry. figures are just toys or numbers, ther the random thinkins of me.

This morning i hooked up a clock. umm. yesterday i went to work and then realized i wasn't working that day. that kind of sucked. I tried going to the YMCA. They let me try it for a night to see what it is like. Someone showed me around. I tried lifting these weights. When I was trying to lift them i heard some guy talking to his friend and he said, let's use some light weights. (i guess he was warming up or something) anyway, when i set the weights back down the guy said, oh that guy (refering to me) has some small weights, use those ones. They didn't seem too small to me though. anyway, i walked over to the mall last night. I was going to get something from dairy queen but the mall was closed. i like those butter finger drinks. the other kinds are pretty tastey too.
I wonder if there is a metric system of telling time. instead of 60 seconds and that why not 100?

the snow is ... i worked today. hopefully something good happens. maybe a phone call tommorow will help. I gotta put the sled in the buyer flyer. tonite i had one of those choclate bar drinks. the last two in the fridge were coffee crisp and butterfinger. i chose the butter finger drink and bought a coffee crisp too. Life is funny. I need to end the day with saying i learnt somin. so i figure i might do some more reading. wednesday should be a super day. hopefully thursday is the same or close to equivelant. thats as far ahead as i am willing to think about at the moment. tuesday will be another night of orchestra. i new i skipped a day in the middle.

hmm, today i was somewhat bored. bought some immitation crab meat. i don't know what it consits of but is sort of tastey. it snowed last night and has been freezing raining. decided i would take the bike out. some lady asked me if i had chains on.
its sometimes funny when people think you should be up on the latest news in their life. like they think something is wrong with you because you don't know who their dating at the moment or whatever.

at work tonight this old guy bumped into this girl on the cash register beside me. he was like oh, i am sorry and apoligized and everything. then he looked at her and said, oh i didn't hurt the baby did I? only thing is she isn't pregnant. but the guy thought so. until he saw the look she gave him. then the girl turned to the guys wife and was like, i'm not pregnant... and the guys wife said I know, and apoligized for her husband and turned to him and said he could be sued or something like that. then the old guy, probably feeling embarassed, pretended like he didn't really think she was pregnant and he was just being a big joker, and he said something to his wife about not hurting her baby either. yah, so it probably doesn't sound funny when i tell the story but it was pretty sweet.

I went over east and some girl on the bus asked me if i was in a bad mood because i supposedly gave her a bad look. i watched a movie. by myself, i think some people feel bad for a person they see watching a movie by themselves. haha. anyway, i walked home. i saw this lady with her dog and when i walked by, the dog tried to jump at me. but the lady hung onto the dogs collar and she fell to the ground and did a roll type thing. i asked her if she was okay but i couldn't really help her up because the dog wouldn't let me. i'm not going to lie to you, it was probably one of the funniest things i've seen. i stopped at the superstore and bought a mcains deep and delicious cake. then went to tim hortons to get a spoon. then walked the rest of the way home enjoying the cake. i hate drinking out of milk cartons it always spills all over your face.

well rockwood park was alright. the bike kept sliding around because the rotting leaves were wet. i peed off a rock. i watched some ducks. thats about it.

i am going to go for a bike to rockwood park today. im thinking back to the orphanage in bolivia. when that little three year old girl said i love you in spanish. she grew up in a prison.

im still awake. it is 2:30 am. this peanut butter toast is good.

around eleven i went for a walk by myself and wandered around some streets. i also went to the burial grounds. i stoped for a minute and it felt like i was in a movie. it was kind of foggy and alot of the leaves had fallen off and were dead. there were a lot of shadows. and there were gravestones. it felt like a headless man should come out and axe me. the leaves are pretty when they are all different colors but are ugly when they turn all brown. its sort of like a lot of things. when there is a change in your life it is exciting but then when you get into a routine your not enjoying it anymore. routine is sort of like a bunch of dead leaves. i saw a little plack on one of the big trees and read it. it said this tree is believed to have been planted in 1883 as a shady tree. i wonder if the person was really thinking about the shade they would get from this tree when they planted it. if that tree was planted in 1883 that would make it one hundred years older than me. i bet that tree has seen a lot. i wonder what it would tell me if it could talk.

when i went to leahs last friday her hamster died. well it was dying, it was "leaking from the back" as they put it. anyway, her dad took it out and put it out of its mysery, but wouldnt tell how he did it. anyway, i found a poem on my floor today she had written about him when she was in high school. here it is.
my dear little rodent i love you so much.
where would i be without you?
a hamster-less world is no place for me.
you bring me much joy, i am so happy we found each other!
i love how you waddle across the floor like a short fuzzy duck, and how
you roll about in your ball crashing into doorways over and over again.
i love your twithing nose, your long funny whiskers that tickle my
face, your beautiful pink beady eyes that remind me of marbles, and
your adorable grey mo-hawk. You are truely the most gorgeous creature
ever created.
I thank God we met and i can call you my own. I love you my
dear Chumble Spuzz!

anyway, hey jordan, on my lunch at work today i went to the mall and saw the tim hortons girl. she recognized me.
i left the top of bishops cage open all night. i guess he can't get out that way.

i think this is the first time ever i have had time before going for the bus. but i woke up at six a.m. this morning and couldn't fall back asleep. hmmm. thats about it.

Well, I was going to answer a bunch of dumb questions that come in those annoying forward things. But I decided I would just make up my own dumb questions, and answer them myself. 22 questions:
1. If you were to be put in a room for the next ten minutes, would you rather it be with other people or alone? alone
2. Ever gotten bitten by a dog? just a small bite, delivering papers. guess that pitbull didn't want to be patted.
3. When you talk to yourself do you argue or are the conversations one sided? argue
4. Do you consider reading crappy surveys on the computer a relaxing time or something to do out of bordem? depends on what else has happened that day.
5. Ever prank call the operator? no, but a long time ago i was at someones house and they did. the operator called back and their mom was pretty mad. haha.
6. Do you wish you had a big hickey right now? sort of
7. Did you get caught staring at anyone this past while? don't think so
8. If you got lice would you use special shampoos or shave your head? shave my head
9. Is going to the bathroom a good thing, or a nuisance? good thing, unless i just went then have to go again, i hate that.
10. Do you know what the word amorphous means? nope.
11. Tell anyone they were attractive today? nope.
12. On dirty toilet seats, do you hover or just sit down? hover, then get tired and sit.
13. Ever kiss an inanamite object wishing it was someone? yes
14. Did you just lie on the last question? no
15. When you have a dream of going into pulbic in your underwear, does it bother you or people watching you more? other people
16. Ever eat a whole box of kraft dinner? yes, makes you feel crappy.
17. Do you remember being born? no, but i watched a kid being born in grade eight sex ed. that kinda sucked.
18. What's been given to you free? a ride on the bus, meatball sub, a glass of pepsi, pretty much that sega.
19. Ever gotten slapped? not yet.
21. Do you wished you looked like barbie? no, what kind of question is this? oh wait i made these up. well, they always seem to be pointed at females, so i thought it was appropriate.
22. Ever dance naked? i didn't invent this question. but.. i think i danced naked in the shower when our hot water tap was broke.
23. Strange, did you notice up top it said 22 questions and this is number 23? I noticed.

it was the first snowfall yesterday. that was cool. no it was seriously cold too. i've started wearing my toque lately. a lot of people seem to like to spin their tires at red lights after it is slippery here. i took the bus to st. george and back this weekend. on the way there some guy near me was hitting on this girl, he said he was a professional cowboy and he was going to travel all through the states. when i was waiting at the irving in st. george for the bus to come home, some old lady asked me if i was waiting for the bus and i said yes and she said she would buy me an irving sub. i thought it somewhat strange but hey, can't pass up a sub. so anyway, i talked to her for a few minutes and then she started telling me about her grandson who needed a place to live next spring to go to college. im not too sure why she thought i wanted another roomate but i acted polite, since she did buy me a tastey meatball sub. anyway i can't remember her name but i was trying to tell her mine and i said culberson and she said culber? and i said no, culberson. and she said culber? and i said culberson, c-u-l-b-e-r-s-o-n. and she said, oh culber. and i said yeah, culber. i ordered liver and onions yesterday and people were like, did i just hear liver? and i said oh no. and then they went on about how gross that would be and stuff. then i told them i actually did order it and i think they felt like they had offended me or something. it was cool. what's so wrong with liver and onions? it tastes good but everyone just thinks it is gross, i bet eighty percent of the people in this world have never tried it, but hate it. i guess i pretty much like all foods though.